If you're a Christian woman, there is no reason on earth that you wouldn't want to be exactly like this. If you're not a Christian, you are still more than welcome to hang around and maybe learn something about how we think.
I used the KJV version for this because there is so much that can be lost in translation, I went straight to the original translation. Please, don't bother telling me how "inaccurate" it is, etc. if you like a different translation, great! I personally prefer the amplified version as it's an "overexplaination" of the word, and it's super easy to understand, but I went with the KJV becuase it's a great simple explaination of the verses.
Proverbs 31: 10-31
10Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
11The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
12She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
13She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.
14She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.
15She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.
16She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.
17She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.
18She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.
19She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.
20She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.
21She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.
22She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.
23Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.
24She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.
25Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
26She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
27She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
28Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.
29Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.
30Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.
31Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.
Broken down:
10Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
11The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
What is your value? Rubies are a beautiful pinkish-red stone that is second hardest only to diamonds! The point of this passage (in my opinion only!) is what you'd pay for an incredible clarity, large stone, beautifully set ruby, a virtuous woman is so much more valuable! You are the one who can be worth more than this. Abraham paid baskets of jewels for Isaac's wife Rebecca (he also offered fine linens and other things) and she was a virtuous woman. Could you imagine being worth more than baskets of jewels? If you were to be sold, what would your price be? priceless? I would like to think that mine is.
Where women trust openly, and often too much, men guard their trust until it's earned. We need to earn our husband's trust, and if we do things to break it, it hurts them more than we could imagine. Well, for our husband to trust in us, knowing that he will have no need for anything unfairly gained is a HUGE thing! That means quite a lot! This tells a lot about the woman who can stretch her husband's dollar (for sake of the thought process, let's assume you're a SAHM.) so that he has no need for "spoils". for her to be frugal, and smart with his money and property will earn his trust, but more on this later.
12She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
13She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.
14She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.
12-There are times in a marriage that you will want to throw a spatula at his head. Don't kid yourself, there will be times when he wants to do it back! But, the idea here is this: Your attitude reflects on the outside of you. If you're ticked at your husband, that's ok, but CALMLY talk to him about it, don't complain to anyone behind his back, don't throw insult punches that land brutally, our goal is to do him GOOD every day that we are with him (and the days we're not!). That is why you're Mrs. __________. he's not mr. yourlastnamehere. He becomes your husband, by taking you as his wife. We should want to honor him, make him KNOW that we want that- and believe me there will be times that we mess up. we are human (and I say that in a derogatory manner) and we will screw up, however those screw ups should NEVER be with an effort. We should strive to show him excellence.
13- Now we're getting into something here. I have quite a few ladies tell me "Oh, I wish I could do that" or "I don't know how to sew/crochet/knit/weave" etc. Well, the only thing I have to say to them is learn. An intelligent woman and wife works hard with her hands, and creates things to help save her family money. for example, I'm a fabric junkie. I LOVE beautiful cottons, and have made quilts, clothes, crocheted blankets, scarves and hats, I make cloth diapers and all the "fixin's" and have saved my family thousands of dollars by doing this. If you don't know how, I HIGHLY recommend you check out a book from the library, or get together with a friend or someone who knows how to and ask/pay for lessons. You will be doing a HUGE service to yourself and your family if you learn to work with fibers to help your family.
14- The merchant ships is a good analogy. Merchant ships would bring fruits and spices from far places in biblical times. We now have fruits and veggies available to us in minutes from grocery stores and the internet. I live in middle TN. There's no palm trees around here, however I can get coconuts in seconds by driving to my local grocery store- in december, in a snow storm. Merchant ships would come once every few months, and their trading/selling would be incredibly profitable, particularly considering that these spices and other foods weren't available all the time. People buying from these ships would plan for about a year in advance. To be like the merchant ships and bring your food from afar is to be wise, and profitable. To be smart, and trade with those who don't have what you have to offer, and to get something that you need from them as well. It's to be a wise woman and gain profit for your family.
15She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.
16She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.
17She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.
She is a hard worker and not a sloth. She's not the type to lay in bed until noon. 15- is a complex but beautiful one. This woman is a planner. She rises while it's still night- dark out- a.m.; very VERY early A.M. to prepare food for her family, and a portion to her servants. Well, I'm going to go at this one backwards. Very few of us actually have servants/ hand-maidens anymore. We DO have dishwashers, and washing machines, and mops and vacuum cleaners, and refridgerators, freezers, etc. We have more conveniences than we've ever had and less time to do anything, BUT there's good news. When we plan ahead and have our to-do list so to speak, we are planning our time wisely as the woman in 31:15 does. That is exactly what this means to me. When we "giveth meat to [our] household", this says a LOT about womanhood. We are the caregiver, the heart of the house, the nurturer, the one who creates the meals (more than just food, I'm talking about emotional here also) and the one who cares for her family always.
16- talks about her wisdom and maturity as well as how hard she works. She carefully considers if this field will be fertile and produce gainful fruit. Is she taking on too much and going to ignore her daily tasks? Will she be able to make a profit from this? Is it a frivilous purchase or will it help her family? Is she getting a fair deal for the land? After deliberation she decides that it will be worth it, and she plants a vineyard. She is crafty and can make things with her hands, and decides that out of her labor, she will plant what she is adept at, is skillful in and understands how she will make money at it, and she has a plan.
17- She takes care of herself! She's strong, and vibrant. She is healthy and seeks to make herself a hard worker so she can accomplish much. She doesn't turn to chemicals to alter her state, SHE makes HERSELF strong. She doesn't rely on any type of drug (though coffee is natural and does kick-start my day!) like the kid's Ritalin, or performance enhancers to give her strength.
18She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.
19She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.
18- This woman is intelligent, quick, and a decision maker. She is sees that the things that she buys is worth her money! She doesn't get sucked into the infomercials because she can. She doesn't need an electric hamburger flipper and realizes it. No, that sock drying rack will NOT make her life easier. She is savvy when it comes to purchases and she isn't afraid to bypass something if it's cheaply made, just because it's inexpensive! She doesn't need junk in her life, she demands quality. Just because she has money doesn't mean she has to spend it.
She keeps the home-fires burning and guarantees that she is ready at a moment's notice. She is ready for emergencies, or a sick child. She prepares to ensure that her light is burning through the night to support her family's needs just in case. She doesn't necessarily broadcast this either! She can achieve this thankless task, that will only benefit her if something happens, but she does it anyway just in case something does happen.
19- she makes quality with her hands, and knows what her household needs. She knows how to repair things in her home, and keeps a supply of repair products on hand. She takes the time for herself, but in doing so she ensures that her house has things that they will need. Because she is capable of making most things, she doesn't squander money on things that she can easily make herself.
She keeps the home-fires burning and guarantees that she is ready at a moment's notice. She is ready for emergencies, or a sick child. She prepares to ensure that her light is burning through the night to support her family's needs just in case. She doesn't necessarily broadcast this either! She can achieve this thankless task, that will only benefit her if something happens, but she does it anyway just in case something does happen.
19- she makes quality with her hands, and knows what her household needs. She knows how to repair things in her home, and keeps a supply of repair products on hand. She takes the time for herself, but in doing so she ensures that her house has things that they will need. Because she is capable of making most things, she doesn't squander money on things that she can easily make herself.
21She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.
22She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.
20- This is pretty self explanatory. However, I don't believe that she abandons her house to volunteer with "busy work". I think that she donates things to help the poor, will make extra meals, will comfort when she can but she will NOT neglect her family to do it. She is first and foremost a wife and mother, so she will take care of her household first. Then she will offer what she has to the poor. She is hospitable and caring. Her heart is a servant's heart. I think this also goes for church work. In my opinion, she doesn't neglect her house by doing "good works" at church either. She isn't in the choir to the avoidance of her family. She doesn't volunteer for all the busy work that churches can provide to the detriment of her household, she ALWAYS puts her household and it's affairs first and foremost.
21- Because she has worked all spring, summer and fall, she was wise in her decisions, and she has portioned out for winter the goods that her household will need, she has no problem when the weather gets colder and her family could be in danger. She has looked well to the affairs of her household to make sure all the family members and servants are taken care of and warm in the winter months. She has stored up food for when she can't get out (i.e. emergencies!) and for when it isn't readily available. Not much grows in the winter, so she has prepared food ahead of time for when she will need it in the winter.
22- This woman is stylish and a woman of importance. That does NOT mean she puts on airs, she is a woman who is befitting her husband, and since purple was a royal color in biblical times, this implies that she values herself. The wife/mother is an integral part of the family dynamic! We as women tend to put ourselves last, however this woman IS of value, but NOT better than her husband. She wears fine clothing because she has tended her home wisely. She is skilled in making herself clothing, and she is adept at keeping herself modest and stylish. She is someone people go to for advice on how to run their own homes, because she has done it well, and according to God's guidelines.
23Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.
23- This is perhaps the most revealing about the woman. Because of the wife being in her place in the home, and fair, and smart, and well dressed, and a hard worker, and a strong business woman,and a help to the needy, her husband is considered wise for choosing her! Her husband holds a place of honor because she honors him by doing her job. Sitting with the elders of the land was a great honor, and men with lazy wives didn't/couldn't. They were the ones who were tending to their own homes when they should have been out working to provide for their families. Women are designed to be a compliment to their husbands, not have their marriage all about them. This woman was wise in running her home, and made sure that her husband had the time to read the scriptures with the elders of the land, and because of the respect and reverence she has for him, he was well a well known and honored man, who was known and liked by many people. Frankly, it's my goal that my husband is known as a wise man for choosing a wife that is a reflection of Proverbs 31.
24She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.
25Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
26She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
24- She is a smart business woman with many skills. She not only is a talented farmer, she is skilled in crafts, and fabric making. She takes time and effort to make FINE linen. She sells it at a price increase, taking into account her time, and energy, and supplies, and not succumbing to pressure. She makes sure her business dealings are profitable, not just with money, but also with making sure she is known as fair. In doing so, her husband's name is honored. She is a marketer and manufacturer and delivers her goods to be sold by others, so she can make a profit and still not worry about the time it would take away from her family.
25- This woman is noble. She is wise, smart, strong, honorable, and incredibly talented. She has looked so well to her affairs, that she has no problem laughing at the future. In training her children, she knows that her household will be run the same if she were not there, because she had done such a fine job of making sure that her talents, and skills were passed on.
26- She realizes that she doesn't need to be harsh or cruel to get her point across. All she has to do is speak with wisdom, kindness, understanding and gentle correction when needed. She doesn't have harsh words for her husband and children. She speaks love and kindness. She values her relationships, and only wants to cultivate joy and productiveness out of them. She would be a kind master because of how she speaks, and even her servants would find it a joy to work with her because of her attitude. She doesn't allow cruelty to become her countenance. Because her words are kind, her heart is tender, and it makes her more effective in running her household. She finds less resistance and more cooperation because of how she speaks. Words are not spoken in anger, which means this woman thinks before she speaks. She doesn't give snide comments, and doesn't make others feel belittled or "less" than she is. Because of her words, neither she nor anyone she interacts with is bitter because of her. Too often women will use words to hurt, and in this woman's case, it not only is NOT in her nature, but it's not even a thought in her mind. Kindness is her rule and in my opinion, we should ALL be like that! (for the record, yes I'm at fault of NOT being this woman!)
27She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
28Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.
29Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.
27- This woman is anything BUT lazy. First and foremost, she puts her household and it's affairs above all else. She doesn't make plans that will take away from her house. She doesn't sleep the day away. She is constantly doing something, even when she's sitting down resting, my bet is that she has something in her hands, be it wool to turn into yarn, or yarn turning into tapestries and blankets, or she's sewing something- this woman is constantly doing something, even when she's not doing "anything". The exception to this would be sleeping, however as we saw earlier, she even makes sure that her lamps always have oil in them so her light will not go out at night. This blessed woman is wise and makes sure that her house is always taken care of. Even when she knows she'll be out and busy, she makes sure that her household is taken care of. Fastfood is NOT an option. She makes sure that dinner is always prepared by hand (or crockpot in our cases!) and makes sure there is plenty in the house to eat. Her house is neat and tidy because she has looked well to her affairs, and stops fires before they start. Through kindness, she makes sure that her home is how it is supposed to be before she even thinks about doing anything else.
28 and 29- these are tied together and this is the greatest blessing that we as women could ask for! Her children call her an amazing mom. "Mom, you take care of us, and you're teaching us how to be good children. You show us your skills and are passing them on so we can be productive adults. You never yell and make us feel belittled, and you don't speak to us as if we're stupid, and unworthy of your love. You are a GOOD MOM!"
Her husband praises her, knowing that there are so many women out there that are not like her. There are women who are actually the exact opposite of this wonderful woman and he knows he has chosen very wisely in a spouse. Her husband tells her that "even though there are women who have done well, and have been righteous, YOU are greater than them all, because of how you have honored me, and our home. You are the one I trust, the one I value, and the one I could not survive without. My heart is safely secure in you and I have no need for things that are gotten through devious plans. I have no desire for any other woman because you make yourself lovely to me and I want to honor you because of all that you do, and who you are." When was the last time your husband honestly praised you- wasn't nagged into doing it? Truthfully told you "because of you, I am able to ______. You make it easy to love you.". How often do your achievements get recognized and are honored because of you, instead of because of how hard you complained to your family that no one appreciates what (little) you've done, and no one thinks about you, or puts you first? When was the last time you stopped acting like a martyr, and started acting like a servant to your family? When your heart is in the right place, so will your honor be. You will be praised for the selfless things that you do when you're not demanding recognition.
30Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.
31Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.
30- A woman of such distinction and character as the one listed above (and yes, that's all one woman!) knows that she doesn't need special favors. She doesn't look to make herself MORE beautiful and doesn't want to be the envy of all the women. You know the saying "Men want her and women want to be her". Well, that is ridiculous! She doesn't go in to be the most beautiful, but I DO believe that she makes herself beautiful to her husband. Yes, beauty is fleeting, however using makeup on a face with a blackend heart is simply putting spackle over a bandaid-ed bullet wound. It won't work. Being kind lovely will get you further than the newest shade of "your worth it" lipstick.
If you fear the Lord, you are the one worthy of praise. Pleasing God in all that you do is worthy of praise. Setting yourself up as a martyr and complaining that nobody cares about you, and withholding your love and affection to those around you until your demands are met is not only selfish, but also UNWORTHY of praise, and dignity. You will get what you deserve if you selfishly act, NOT necessarily getting what you want.
31- This woman's tireless, selfless work; the work of her family and running a household; the work of making sure that everyone is taken care of, and future planning is done, creating, gardening, selling her products for profit, teaching her children, being kind and helping those she can, all while looking good, and doing her husband honor will ensure that she is well taken care of! Her name will be known herself, and the good things she does will bring herself honor. She will be a well respected woman if she treats herself, and others with dignity. The fruits of her hands will be productive and will ensure that there is plenty for everyone.
This is the woman I want to be. This is who I want to emulate and how I want to live my life. My family deserves me to be this woman, and it's who God created me to be! How about you? How will YOU live your life?
